What Parents Need to Know About Sextortion
The rapid advance of technology has been both a blessing and a curse.
While it has enabled us to connect more easily and has created new opportunities that enhance and simplify our lives, it has also exposed our children to new dangers.
Today’s kids are essentially growing up in an online world. The traditional physical boundaries that once safeguarded them have been weakened – or, in some cases, erased – by technology.
While most young people find healthy connection, entertainment, and learning in the digital space, they are also at risk of dangers such as online sextortion.
It’s crucial that parents take the appropriate steps to protect their kids from this new threat.
That protection starts with awareness.
What Is Sextortion?
Sextortion is a term used to describe a crime in which online predators coerce young people into creating and sending them sexually explicit images or video.
According to the
FBI, predators engaged in sextortion typically pretend to be attractive young girls to befriend teenage boys – often on social media and gaming platforms. (Young girls are not immune to sextortion, however.) Once the predators have “befriended” their victims, they then trick them into exchanging sexually explicit material or believing the predators have already obtained it.
While sextortion has traditionally been fueled by predators’ desire for sexual gratification and control, it is now mostly motivated by greed.
After predators obtain a victim's pictures or video, they will demand money – often in the form of gift cards, mobile payments, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency – to keep the explicit material from being shared with the victim’s family and friends. Even when victims comply, however, the predators will often demand more money and escalate their threats.
In 2023 alone, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) received
26,718 reports of financial sextortion, up from 10,731 reports in 2022.
As predators’ motivation for sextortion has expanded from sexual gratification and control to greed, so has the complexity of their crimes.
In South Korea, for example, online predators
used the messaging app Telegram to target young girls, teenagers, and college students at 2,000 schools by sharing fake pornographic images of the victims that were created using artificial intelligence.
Victims would receive Telegram messages from anonymous senders saying, “Your pictures and personal information have been leaked. Let’s discuss.” As the victims entered the chatroom to read the messages, they received initial photos of themselves taken a few years ago, followed by additional images using the same photos with their faces attached to bodies engaged in sex acts, using sophisticated deepfake technology.
While predators can commit sextortion from virtually anywhere on the globe, offenders who engage in financially motivated sextortion are often located outside the United States – primarily in west African countries like Nigeria and Ivory Coast, or in Southeast Asian countries such as the Philippines.
Regardless of the predators’ motivations or locales, however, the effects on the victims are universally troubling.
Victims caught in the trap of sextortion often feel embarrassed, isolated, and cornered with seemingly no way out. Some have even turned to self-harm and suicide.
Once such victim,
Ryan Last, was a 17-year-old straight-A student who was lured into sending explicit photos, then extorted. The predator threatened to send the photos to all his friends and family if he didn’t pay them $5,000. Ryan ended up paying a lower amount of $150, but the predator demanded more money. Ryan couldn’t see a way out of the situation and took his own life mere hours after being victimized.
Why Might a Child or Teen Fall Into Such a Trap?
Simply put, the predators who carry out these schemes are ruthless and very good at what they do. They have spent countless hours honing their techniques to maximize their chances of success.
Their first encounter with a victim might come across as compliments or flattery or what feels like the beginning of a legitimate romantic relationship. If the predator met the victim in an open online forum, he will encourage the victim to move to a private, 1-to-1 environment on a different platform to continue the conversation.
The predator may also offer something of value to the victim in exchange for taking a quick picture. This could be money, cryptocurrency, gift cards, online game credits or codes, or even the offer of modeling work.
The most aggressive approach involves the predator bypassing flattery or gifts and instead making threats by either claiming they already have an image of the victim that they will distribute or threatening to harm the victim, other people, and/or things the victim cares about.
It’s important to note that once the perpetrator obtains – or digitally doctors – the first image, they will use the threat of exposure or other harm to keep the victim producing more and more explicit material.
Why Don’t Victims Reach Out for Help?
Victims of sextortion are afraid of a perpetrator’s threats and afraid they will be in trouble with their parents, guardians, or law enforcement.
They may fear they will lose access to their phone or computer due to their actions.
They also likely feel shame and embarrassment.
The perpetrator may also tell them they are guilty of producing child pornography and will be prosecuted for it.
How to Protect Your Child
Your child needs to know that crimes like sextortion are happening and how to identify the risks of it happening to them.
Explain that people can pretend to be anyone or anything online, that a stranger reaching out to them online may actually want to hurt them, and that no matter what an app or website claims, nothing “disappears” online. Make sure they know that if they take a photo or video, there is always a chance it can become public.
Not only is it important for you and your child to be aware of this potential danger, but it’s also important to implement
responsible guidelines to mitigate the risk of your child falling victim to it. This might include prohibiting devices in your child’s bedrooms overnight or turning off WiFi access overnight.
Maintain an open and ongoing conversation about what is and is not appropriate online. Consider placing certain limits on your child’s Internet use or spot checking their phones and other devices to see what apps they’re using and with whom they are communicating. You may also want to review the settings on your child’s social media accounts, as keeping their accounts private can prevent predators from gathering their personal information.
Above all else, make sure that your child knows that they can come to you to ask for help with anything, anytime. Let them know that if they do, your first step will always be to help, no matter what.
Warning Signs
Despite parents’ best efforts, thousands of children still fall prey to sextortion each year.
Here are 10 signs that a child might be a victim:
- Increasing and/or sudden secrecy or withdrawal from family and friends
- Unexplained mood swings, including irritability, sadness, or depression
- Anxiety or fear when using phones or the internet
- Avoiding specific apps, games, or social media
- Unusual financial activity or requests for money
- Loss of interest in hobbies or socializing
- Difficulty sleeping or changes in sleep habits
- Reluctance to talk about online activity or interactions
- A noticeable drop in academic performance
- Deleting or hiding online messages, images, or online activity
If You Need Help
If you suspect your child or another child you know is a victim of sextortion, you should alert law enforcement immediately.
Contact your local FBI field office, call 1-800-CALL-FBI, or report the crime online at
tips.fbi.gov.